Argh! My first late Blogger entry in more
than a year…and my first late Tumblr entry EVER. It’s my own fault, too:
I got greedy. I wrote the
quickwood entry, then tried to make it a plant monster double feature with the
alraune for reader Sincubus, who’s a fan of both. Alas, I got interrupted by a work party thrown by these guys
for these guys…which ran late…aaaaand now it’s after midnight. Apologies to all for the tardiness…and
I’ll get to the alraune eventually.
Does fantasy role-playing have an iconic killer tree? We have plenty of killer plants—nobody likes assassin vines or
shambling mounds or giant flytraps.
But what about the classic evil tree?
Well I nominate the quickwood. It’s never a bad idea to have a tree with a horrible jagged
bole-mouth to bite PCs—especially when those bites come as a +4 free
attack. And it’s spell-resistant
to boot! Excellent…
PS: It’s hard to overstate the importance of oak for
pre-medieval societies, in terms of its strength and utility (lumber, food and
animal feed (acorns), firewood) and mythic/religious significance (including
being sacred to pretty much every thunder god, as well as where you find dryads
and mistletoe). So a tree that
lives among oaks and turns them into spies is pretty much the worst thing ever
to a peasant. In a
well-thought-out fantasy society, helping the locals kill quickwoods free of
charge might just be one of those things you do as an adventurer out of custom
(similar to the way even today cruise ships stop what they’re doing to help the
Coast Guard with rescues). No
adventurer can be asked to solve every town’s woes—goblins, hobgoblins, even
dragons are something that towns must either face on their own or hire someone
to manage. But just like every
able-bodied adult helps with the bucket brigade when there’s a fire, some
menaces—ghouls, attic whisperers, and quickwoods come to mind—are such threats
to the very core of rural society that even the most mercenary brutes would
lend a hand or be damned by their fellows.
A dryad is desperate
for help. A quickwood moved
into her grove and devoured her charmed
guardian. When she tried to seek
new champions, the quickwood spotted her by spying upon her with her own
tree. Now it spends a portion of
each day trying to strangle her home oak’s roots and knock the tree over, all
the while threatening her in Sylvan.
Unaided, she won’t last the week.
A scarecrow gained
intelligence in the magical backlash after its master was killed. It has since teamed up with a
quickwood, helping to lure victims to the killer tree with its fascinating
gaze, so it can vicariously enjoy their suffering.
A quickwood has
crowned itself the Forest King, aided by a clan of loyal lizardfolk (whose
flesh the tree finds disgusting).
The local fey have hidden and fled, but the local humanoids weren’t so
lucky. The few elves in the forest
have been devoured, and the halflings enslaved to hunt for more victims for
tree and tribe. They don’t dare
resist as the lizardfolk hold their children hostage.
—Pathfinder Bestiary 2
228
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