Tuesday, December 3, 2013


The tojanida was one of a number of unloved elemental creatures that popped up in the 3.0 Monster Manual.  Its party trick was being able to rearrange all of its limbs (including its neck, which sported a sideways mouth) in any configuration through the holes of its shell.

But the race found redemption in Pathfinder (courtesy of Crystal Frasier) via Misfit Monsters Redeemed, which recast tojanidas as grandiose turtle-crabs with staggeringly long race memories, and that gloss in turn earned them a place in the Bestiary 3. 

As MMR points out, tojanidas’ search for sensation, combined with their ability to remember (and desire to forget) several lifetimes, mean they could pop up in just about any kind of aquatic adventure—sometimes as allies, other times as enemies (or as flunkies for a more powerful enemy).  But most often they’ll be something in between: the hedonistic leader of a surfing cult, the irascible head librarian of a knowledge pearl repository, or a potion addict trading forbidden secrets for a hit.  MMR can give you more hints on role-playing these creatures (and has a number of variants besides) but each one gives you the opportunity to create a unique NPC trapped in a very unlikely shape.

Imperious-Augustus-Waverider-Chelivox the Elder (to its friends) is the mascot of Dirk’s Eye, a pirate haven.  It is revered for its knowledge of naval tactics, its ability to negotiate treaties with tritons and sahuagins, and the prodigious amount of intoxicants it can consume (and prisoners, if their species is new to it or their flesh particularly delicious-looking). 

The memory of their race’s humiliation at the hands of the marids still stings those tojanidas who remember it.  One powerful specimen, Redrazor, is determined to take its revenge on the aquatic genies.  Years of hunting the deeps have honed its skills (granting him levels in ranger and barbarian) and brought him into contact with foul ghawwas allies.  Together they launch an assault on the palace of a marid who abused Redrazor’s services in the past.  The marid is being visited by mortal adventurers at the time, and she declares them bound by the laws of hospitality to defend her home.

Tojanidas’ quests for new sensations sometimes take them down dark paths.  For every tojanida who has found itself bathing in an Arcadian pool being serenaded by lillends, far more have been lost to Abyssal predators, kyton experimentation, and worse.  The vampiric tojanida Mertantus was lured into undeath a century ago, and now serves as a lorekeeper for a merfolk lich.

Misfit Monsters Redeemed 52–57 & Pathfinder Bestiary 3 270

For those of you who watch the alphabet keenly, we already covered the tiger, the titan centipede, and the mighty toad.

Man, you all love tieflings.  I mean, I knew that, but still…you all love tieflings.

Bad news from this weekend: I still can't get into the station (swipe access issues), so this show starts 15 minute late. Good news: It starts off with Son Volt and includes "Alice's Restaurant.”   You’re not tired of Thanksgiving yet, are you?

Anyway, download this and fast-forward till you hear music.

(As usual, for best results Save As an mp3 and enjoy in iTunes. Link good till Friday, 12/6.)

Also, if you’re a Welcome to Night Vale fan, check out the latest episode of Welcome to Maryland.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, I just wanted to say, I just found this blog and I'm having a lot of enjoyment reading through the back issues, as it were! Kudos, and keep up the good work!