Wednesday, December 18, 2013


Beware people with unique pets.

Wanting a unique pet is totally fine.  (In my head, I am the owner of a magical snow leopard farm, the daily chores made easier by capable sylph druid sidekicks.)  But every time you actually hear about someone having a unique pet, it’s in the news story about how that pet got loose and ate his or her face off.

Why do I bring this up?

Because trollhounds are the unique pets of the fantasy world.  They do not belong in captivity…unless said captivity involves a troll.  (And in that case, you already have the fire and acid prepped—just watch out for that diseased bite and you’re good).

But if you see a non-troll with a trollhound?  Run.  That dude is bad news.  Nobody with good intentions has a trollhound lying next to his chair.  Wait, it’s your employer, the one who hired you for that latest heist?  DTMFA, or you will be cursing his sudden but inevitable betrayal.  Even worse: It’s an alchemist?  Then she made that thing herself.  It’s a rough draft; it isn’t even out of beta yet.  It is going to try to eat you.  Roll for initiative.

The alchemist Everan Sing is fascinated by trollhounds, one of which decimated a mercenary company she was traveling with.  She has begun experiments to create trollhounds of her own, and her recent efforts seem fruitful.  Her research has driven up her debts, however, and incurred the displeasure of a crime boss who has several trolls—and trollhounds—at his disposal…

Carcasses are being brought into Castle Ravenwood for the big feast—trussed-up fowl, venison, boars, a fatted calf.  But one of the carcasses is an armless, legless, beheaded trollhound.  Soon enough, though, the supposed carcass regenerates and runs amok in the kitchens, then speeds upstairs to lay waste to the party guests…which is just what the sender intended.

The world of Carcin has no trolls, just trollhounds.  Hobgoblins and bugbears favor them even above worgs as pets and weapons against orcs and humans alike.  Still, there are rumors…impossible rumors, of course…that there are creatures far to the north, the eponymous trolls of legend, who share the trollhounds’ mystical regeneration…but surely those are just fairy tales…

—Pathfinder #32 88–89 & Pathfinder Bestiary 3 274

Look for more trollhounds in Pathfinder #32: Rivers Run Red, including variants like the scraghound.

Re: my intro—“But I have a sugar glider!” you protest.  To which I reply, I don’t care how cute they are; those things are omnivores.  It’s still planning to eat you; it’s just waiting for the mother of all growth spurts.

(PS: If the Bestiary 5 has a dire and/or giant sugar glider, I’m taking the credit.)

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