Slurks are saber-toothed frogs. That should tell you pretty much everything you need to know, right? Those three words either make you grab your dice or grab your coat.
If you’re one of the former, get ready to face cave creatures even a dwarf couldn’t find the heart to love. If you’re in the latter camp, watch out for slime squirts, belly grease, and kobold traps on your way out.
A local boy proudly shows off a tusk he found by a cave mouth. This leads the local naturalist, a retired professor, to gather up some of his students to mount an exhibition. He seeks fossils, saber-toothed dire tigers, a Lost World, or even a portal through time—his aspirations grow as they near the cave. Instead he finds slurks, and his young charges their first adventure…
An open dungeon door is guarded by dark creepers mounted on slurks. The frog-beasts spew their sticky nodules from the ceiling, then leap down to attack. If the ambush goes against his men and amphibians, the group’s dark stalker leader has no problem sacrificing them—he tosses alchemist’s fire and oil and shuts the door behind him, hoping that the slurks’ immobilizing slime and the creepers’ blinding death throes will give the flames time to do their deadly work.
A joust is being held, with a special prize for the knight who cannot be unseated from his horse. Then a kobold cavalier on a slurk enters the list…
—Crown of the Kobold King 31 & Pathfinder Bestiary 2 251
If only all monster names were onomatopoeias… Wait, that’s a terrible idea—this blog would be full of nothing but “Raaaawwwrrr”s. So let’s let the slurk keep that honor. The answer to “What does the slurk say?” is “Slurk.”
Also, one more Josh post: There’s a scholarship being set up in his name. If you’re a UMD grad, ever attended a 9:30 Club show, or are just a music lover in general, consider giving it a thought.