Monkey Goblin

(Image comes from artist Brynn Metheney’s page and is © Paizo Publishing.)

Pathfinder’s goblinoids have a certain elasticity about them…and I don’t mean their rubbery skin.  In addition to the usual goblins, hobgoblins, and bugbears, Pathfinder’s goblin race exhibits variants that seem to be barely genetically possible, like murds, koblaks, goblin snakes (if you believe some sages), and of course the prehensile-tailed monkey goblins. 

And really that’s all you need to know—that these beasts combine the worst features of goblins with the flexibility and acrobatics of monkeys.  Oh, and they're usually raging barbarians and demon worshippers.  They’re also prone to burning down their own forests, but whatever, details.  Actually the worst part about them is that the tend to live in already dangerous jungles—in Pathfinder’s Golarion, that’s Mediogalti Island.  So after your PCs have escaped the temple of the assassin god, they still have the choice of dealing with a jungle full of dinosaurs, girallons, and weretigers…or facing down these jerks. 

The best part about them?  You can play them as PCs, of course.  That can only go well.

No-Tail was born a freak—a monkey goblin without a tail.  His tribemates have made no secret of the fact that they intend to sacrifice him to Oran-Ochob, the Ape Eater, when he is “ripe”—that is, of age.  Fleeing his tribe, No-Tail attempts to join a band of adventurers, repeating his sob story over and over again to win their affection.  Of course, he fully plans to sacrifice his new friends to Oran-Ochob himself.  Surely the demon will finally grant him his tail then.

A warband of monkey goblins prepares for a great feast.  But the meal lacks a rare delicacy the war chief has demanded.  Fortunately, some adventurers come tromping along just below their arboreal encampment, and the man-things just so happen to have the delicacy on hand—their spellslinger’s familiar.

A monkey goblin witch doctor has always eschewed the demon worship of his shaman rival.  By some unlikely miracle, he manages to commune with daemonic powers instead, and something in the darkness sends him a gift: two cacodaemons.  Barely able to cage the beasts, let alone control or train them, he is desperate to find meals for the ravenous outsiders.  Monkey goblin adventurers may come across the witch doctor capturing goblin whelps to feed to the daemons, while adventurers of other races may find themselves caught in net traps or hunting snares the witch doctor has set to catch big game.

—Inner Sea Bestiary 16

Monkey goblins come from the demented mind of Rob McCreary.  I’m sure I mean “demented” as a compliment.  Pretty sure.  Also, I still like the goblin snake for its connection to Pathfinder’s wild and weird early days.

Reader cofinaldestination made my day:

I finally listened to one of your broadcasts—the most recent Saturday morning show—and it was great! Looking forward to the new show!

Thanks, man!  It’s apparent that the audience for my blog and the audience for my show do not by and large overlap at all, so messages like yours are the best!

If you’re new to this blog, the show he’s talking about is here (and the link is good through Friday).  Or you can try this looser jam from last night.  Listen, enjoy, and share!