Wednesday, July 23, 2014


Augurs are basically flying puns: they pair the gift of commune with a desire to carve up their victims.  (Emily Dickinson much?)

And that desire is a pretty profound one, as it happens.  I’ve mentioned before (in a pretty detailed post) that I try to avoid simply equating kink with evil, but let’s face it: augurs are voyeurs with a sadistic fetish for bloodletting.  It’s right in the Bestiary 3’s text: “Augurs, like most kytons, find themselves in a heightened state of arousal when witness to the destruction of flesh[…]  Many augurs cannot help but indulge themselves when exposed to gore—rolling within and dipping their blades into freshly spilled pools.”

So when you encounter a spellcaster with an augur familiar, you know you’re encountering two very cracked individuals—the unhinged floating ball of perversion and the psychopath who summoned it.  Surgeons who disdain anesthetic, artists who prefer unwilling flesh for their canvases, natural philosophers trying to get to the bottom of what exactly pain is, and libertines who can no longer differentiate between pleasure and agony…these are the types of spellcasters who bond with augurs.

As for augurs alone…well, you almost have to pity them.  Little more than a mind and an eyeball inside a fleshy, blade-covered shell, an augur craves order and dominance but lives in utter slavery to its lusts.

Carter Hawksblood is a cold-blooded sniper (see the Advanced Player’s Guide) with an unusual spotter: an augur.  Though not technically a familiar the augur aids Carter in all things, eagerly hunting down targets obscured by cover.  The reason for the augur’s loyalty is simple: Carter donated his left eye to the kyton’s creation.

A charlatan all his life, Xeno the Wise traded his soul to a kyton for a chance at true foresight.  He was promptly turned into an augur and left to haunt the Northchurch bell tower.  He still practices haruspicy on the belfry’s bat swarms—and any adventurers who happen by—but the mad creature still doesn't realize his art only works once a week.

Adventurers have two hours to rescue Sir Lyon’s betrothed from the Sisters of the Lash.  If they fail to meet the deadline, the Sisters will release their famous Thing in the Iron Box to “play” with the blushing maid.

Pathfinder Bestiary 3 171

Imagine the safe sex PSA possibilities! “A safeword a day keeps the kyton away.”  “Friends don’t let friends play with augurs.”  …I should stop now.

Readers be riffin’!  Going back a few days, dr-archville teased out the connection between ash giants and giant vermin.  Kinak took my atomie psychopomp idea and ran with it, proposing they ride zoog steeds.  Faithful fortooate reminded us that paying attention to the Little Folk can yield good intel.  And demiurge1138 revealed he has a Pathfinder Society adventure to his name (The Horn of Aroden) that features some atomies.

Confession time: I have never played or even read a single Pathfinder Society selection.  (Only so many hours in the day, what with Adventure Paths, Player Companions, Campaign Settings, and Modules.  That copy of Infinite Jest is never going to get read, is it?)  Does anyone have a Top 5 list for me?

No comments:

Post a Comment