Lewis Carroll is beloved by fantasy fans, but we don’t think
of him as a monster designer. He
is, to put it bluntly, silly. (For
which we adore him…but no GM trying to craft a boss monster encounter is going
to choose the Mock Turtle over Smaug.)
So it’s not surprising that, aside from vorpal swords and two looooong
out-of-print adventures, Wonderland hasn’t had much of a presence. (I was 5 at the time, so I’ve never
even seen one of the EX
modules.)
Entire Pathfinder’s jabberwock. Paizo did the right thing here. CR 23 is not silly. The Dragon subtype is not silly. It’s so not silly Paizo even gets away
with putting in burbling and whiffling as special abilities. Then they doubled down and put it on the damn cover. That takes some cockleshells right
there.
So yeah, the jabberwock? Not silly.
Pretty awesome, in fact.
(And since it’s one of the Tane, it even has some equally nasty
cousins…)
You also don’t have to confine your jabberwocks to
Wonderland or Faerie. I’ve tried a
few other options below:
The Clockwork Emirate
is a land of marvels—free-willed golem and construct townsfolk, djinn tavern
keepers, ghoul acrobats, and strange, shadow-cloaked ascetics that speak with
birds. To become the emir or a
judge, the Emirate has a strange custom: one must survive being beheaded with a
vorpal sword. (This tends to insure the hegemony of
the nation’s construct citizens.)
When the sword is stolen by a
jabberwock just days before the old emir rusts solid, the land of marvels is
thrown into chaos.
Mere weeks after the
czar is presented a glistening, jewel-encrusted egg, reports begin to
trickle in from the border states of whole villages having been razed. Human, gnome, and ratfolk refugees
begin clogging the Eastern Road.
Then his trusted bogatyri come racing to the capital with news that
their sky dragon mounts have been driven from the air by a terrible beast. It turns out the egg is the egg of a lesser
jabberwock, and her fury will be terrible if it is not returned.
Adventurers escaping
from Hell find the door to the Celestial Stairway barred to them. Instead, the try a desperate
gambit—climbing the trunk of the World Ash. But to do so, they must face the malicious beast that gnaws
on its roots: Níðhöggr. Rumored in legend to be the Father of Linnorms,
the beast is actually a jabberwock of appalling size, strength, and powers of
ice and acid.
—Pathfinder Bestiary 2
168–169
We’re on the letter J!
I’m excited.
I love traditional conceptions of the Demiplane of Faerie. But I have to hand it to Golarion’s
First World for being a really nice, surprisingly elastic concept. It fits fey, gnomes, and the Tane
effortlessly. It even explains why
trolls regenerate! And I hope we
spend more time there in future.
Bu the way, does anyone know where they got the name the
Tane from? The closest I can come
up with is the Táin Bó Cúailnge, and that’s
pronounced “Toin” anyway.
On another note entirely, my friend B. pulled off yet
another City Paper cover story, so
let’s all browse that, shall we?
(Note for my more squeamish readers: This one covers some adult
territory you may not be comfortable with.)
(By the way, I know most of you are here for monsters, not my music or transgendered prostitutes or anything like that. And more skeptical readers might be
rolling their eyes at some of my links as pure name-dropping. But here’s the thing: for such a big
city, Baltimore is really a series of small towns, and it’s really easy to get to know people. So even when I’m egregiously
name-dropping, I’m really not; I’m just celebrating people I know and like who
are making and doing neat things.)
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